Never annoy a hacker
by Doc Lee
Summary: Wrote this before Season 4 started, left gathering dust on my HDD until now. Set post Season 3. Felicity shows why you should never annoy a hacker by taking someone they care about as a hostage. Enjoy :)


Decided to have a review of my unfinished stories and found this one. CAn't quite remember where it came from, but it's set after Season three but was started before Season four aired. Enjoy & as usual, reviews are more than welcome.

Disclaimer - the people that own Arrow (& the whole DC universe) don't include me in their ranks.

* * *

'Look,' The overly rounded police officer glowered down at the small blonde woman that had been shouting at him from the barricade, 'I don't know who you are but...'

'I'm Felicity Sm...' a grunt stopped Felicity in her tracks allowing the officer to interrupt.

'I don't care who you are,' He waved his hand towards the small command centre on the back of two large pick up trucks parked a few feet away, 'We're trying to end a hostage situation with three injured people inside that building and you standing and shouting constantly at us is distracting and likely to get them all killed.'

'You have my partner in that building and he's been...' Once again Felicity was interrupted by the larger man.

'Then you have an extra reason to stop distracting the team trying to dissolve the situation and get him out safely,' The officer huffed at Felicity's glare, 'Or I can arrest you and put you in a cruiser until you quiet down.'

The officer turned and stalked away, a harsh muttered curse sent in Felicity's direction when he thought he'd left her earshot. Her vice grip on the metal barrier tightened and she cursed Oliver Queen's sudden spontaneous nature for the situation they were in.

The 'Olicity roadshow' as Thea had coined it a few weeks in had traversed across America for the last four months. From National City all the way over to Metropolis via Gotham and a countless number of small towns in between. Even with a humiliating stop over in Vegas that ended with Donna Smoak unveiling the album of Felicity's embarrassing baby photos and the occasional roadside argument, life was amazingly good for Felicity and Oliver with their bond even tighter than it had been before his stint as heir to the demon.

Growling softly, Felicity turned and fought her way through the crowd, her eyes searching along the small main street the Kansas farming town revolved around until she saw the cafe sign a handful of storefronts away.

'Hello there...' Felicity swept past the motherly woman standing beside the counter with barely a second glance, her focus on the tablet in her bag and the reported gunshot wound to Oliver's thigh, 'Is everything okay Honey?'

'Nope,' Felicity popped, dropping into a booth and pulling her tablet from her bag, 'Do you have WIFI?'

'We do,' The woman's warm smile faltered at the sharp tone, 'But you'll need to be a customer before you can access the system.'

'Coffee,' Felicity muttered absentmindedly, her focus on the screen before her, 'And lots of it.'

'Okay,' The woman sighed and turned away, dropping a small card displaying the wifi instructions on the table, 'Coffee, coming right up.'

Within seconds of accessing the WIFI, Felicity had hacked into the bank's weak security system and was watching Oliver slumped against the bank managers desk. Cursing the Bank's overly clear CCTV camera's, Felicity let out a whimper.

'What's wrong?' Felicity jumped at the soft voice, her wide eyes snapping up to find the cafe owner hovering nearby, a look of concern on her faced and a steaming mug of coffee on the tray in her hands. The genuine worry in the older woman's face spiked Felicity's guilt at how she'd spoken to her a few moments ago.

'I'm sorry for being a bit of a bitch just now. I'm not like that normally...,' Felicity wiped at the tear rolling down her cheek, the image of Oliver slumped over taunting her inability to save him, 'it's just that my husband is in the bank down the street. He's been shot and the police here are too busy reading the cliche handbook to realise I can help them get the hostages to safety before he bleeds out.'

The woman placed the mug beside Felicity's tablet and slipped into the seat opposite, 'you can do that?'

'In a heartbeat,' Felicity nodded, her ponytail swishing, 'My company... Well, the company that I now own because Ray stupidly got himself blown up. The company supplies the CCTV network to the banking chain. The system we supply has a back up. If the main system is compromised, then law enforcement can access the back up, but the cops here haven't done that yet.'

'Oh my,' The woman gasped, 'Now I know why you're familiar. You're Felicity Smoak. My Son has been trying for two months to get an interview with you for the Daily Planet, man is he going to be fed up his mother got to you first.'

'Yeah,' Felicity glanced down at her tablet and the collection of screen grabs she'd gotten for her facial recognition systems, 'I'm Felicity Smoak. Well I was before I married Oliver.'

'Oliver?' The woman's eyes widened, 'Oliver Queen? You married Oliver Queen?'

'You can't tell anyone!' Felicity felt her panic rising, 'We haven't told anyone yet. Not even his sister!'

'I promise not to tell anyone,' Felicity relaxed, the genuine smile on the woman's lips telling her she could be trusted, 'I'm Martha. Martha Kent.'

'Nice to meet you Mar...' A loud beeping snapped Felicity back to her computer, 'Aha!'

'Did it work?' Martha frowned at the tablet, 'I'm useless with computers. Clark has tried to show me how to Skype, but I nearly always end up pressing the wrong button somewhere.'

'I'm in,' Felicity grinned, her good mood evaporating quickly. Grimacing, she turned to Martha and sighed, 'You seem like a really lovely woman Martha, which is why you need to go find something else to do right now.'

'I'm guessing what you're about to do isn't actually legal, so you'd rather i'm elsewhere and able to stay innocent in your devious crimes,'Martha's lips curled up at the shrug from Felicity, 'Thought so. Don't you worry about me sweetheart. You'd be surprised how liberal my late husband and I were with certain laws over the years. You do what you need to do to get Oliver safe and I'll keep the coffee coming.'

'T-Thank you,' Felicity stuttered as Martha stood, 'I really am sorry for earlier.'

Felicity watched Martha cross the cafe, her reassuring smile helping to calm her nerves as the tablet pinged. She let out a soft gasp at the information that filled the screen and Felicity immediately knew what she needed to do.

Fishing her Bluetooth out of her bag, she hooked it over her ear as her fingers flew over the screen. A beep signalled the connection and Felicity took a deep breath, 'Hello Dave...'

Two things happened in reaction to her voice. The first being that the gunmen freaked out, their weapons flailing around the open bank lobby as they shouted for her to show herself. Felicity had to smother the grin at the lazy smile that crossed Oliver's lips when her modulated voice echoed through the bank.

'Who said that?' the lead gunman barked, 'Show yourself. Where are you?'

'That would be me,' Felicity was shocked at how calm her voice was, 'and I'm sat enjoying a really good cup of coffee right now, or I was before you decided to rob that bank and take those hostages.'

'My upmost apologies,' The sarcasm dripped from Dave's words, 'Maybe you should stop sticking your nose in other peoples business and you can enjoy that coffee.'

'I'm afraid I can't do that Dave,' Oliver's snort of amusement was echoed by Martha's, the older woman placing a large jug of coffee with a wide grin. Lifting her cup for Martha to refill, Felicity huffed, 'As good as this coffee is, and this is REALLY good coffee, I'm not going to turn my back and let you all get away with this.'

'I'm shaking in my boots,' Dave scoffed, 'You're not going to do squat. All you are is...'

'I've just emptied your bank account,' Felicity interrupted, 'And that gorgeous cherry red Vette you have... I mean had? It's now registered in your ex wife's name and I'm looking at a tow truck pulling up to the home you used to own to take it away... It's there for the car, not the house. Not sure how you could tow a house away...'

Oliver's head dropping forward caught Felicity's attention, his shoulders shaking with silent laughter.

'ooh...' Felicity hummed, 'looks like you had a secret stash squirrelled away in a second bank account. There's now a handful of children's charities very happy with you now. Now for your great aunt Gladys...'

'You leave her the hell alone you bastard!' Dave roared, his face turning a deep red, 'Leave her out of this!'

'You don't want me to use some of the money I've taken from you to pay for her stay in that cute little home?' Felicity cocked her head to the side, 'i was just going to make sure she could afford to be upgraded to a better room that overlooks the bay as I know she loves watching the boats.'

'Enough with these games Dave,' one of the other gunmen jogged over, his rough voice grating harshly, 'I don't know what's set this lunatic off, but we have the money and the escape route is ready. Let him get his jollies on his own.'

'Delightfully crude as usual Grant,' Felicity rolled her eyes, 'I've just had the displeasure of discovering the fact you don't know how to stop your videos uploading to the iCloud. I'm guessing that your lovely wife has no idea about the fishing trips you go on with her brother.

Felicity watched Grant's face pale to a dangerous shade of white, 'that reaction confirms it. Wow... I'm so glad i had my speakers on mute, you two are really going at it. Dunno why you're robbing banks Grant, you'd make a hell of a killing as a porn star.

'TURN IT OFF!' Grant screamed in horror when the screen next to him, the graphic video playing silently. She could almost hear the crunching when Grant slammed the butt of his rifle into the monitor, 'TURN IT OFF YOU SICK BASTARD!'

'Says the guy cheating on his wife and his two gorgeously cute kids,' Felicity watched Oliver's head jerk up at just how close to his 'Arrow' voice she was sounding, 'i can sit here all day and spill every single piece of dirty laundry from all of you to each other and the cops watching this feed outside, but I don't think that injured man in the corner has that long. My advice is to put those weapons down and hand yourselves in. I'll give you three minutes before I add everyone's names to the no fly lists and ensure there isn't a police department in the western hemisphere that isn't actively looking for you all.'

Muting the Bluetooth Felicity let out a long sigh as she felt the adrenalin that had pumped through her vanished. A small plate containing a chocolate muffin slid across the table and Felicity blushed at the growl from her stomach which was quickly followed by the seductive moan that left her when the heavenly cake hit her tastebuds.

Seeing the knowing grin from Martha across the room, Felicity lifted the empty plate in salute as her tablet pinged.

'Good boys,' Felicity's grin widened when she saw that the gunmen were placing their weapons on a desk, 'Now go stand by that half dead plant thing and Gerald will use the zip ties that Jenny has in the top left draw of her desk to secure your hands.'

Tapping her screen, Felicity switched the link to the small command centre, 'Sheriff, you and your men can go in now and release the hostages. I'd also send in an EMT, the man with the gunshot wound to the upper thigh is looking too pale for my comfort.'

'Who are you?' Felicity rolled her eyes at the expected question.

'Maybe you should focus on the situation inside the bank instead of wasting time with questions you'll never get answered,' Felicity cut the link and dumped the Bluetooth on the table with a heavy sigh.

'I can put the coffee in a travel mug if you want,' Martha hovered nearby, 'Or I can make a new pot and use that? You need to get over to the hospital so you can be there when Oliver arrives.'

'Thank you Martha,' Felicity sniffled, her eyes tearing up with relief as Oliver was helped from the bank, 'That would be lovely.'

'I used to work in the hospital here,' Martha glanced over her shoulder as she crossed the cafe, 'It's a surprisingly modern facility for such a small town with experienced doctors. Oliver will be fine.'

'Doesn't mean I'm going to stop worrying,' Felicity slipped her tablet into her bag, hung it over her shoulder and stood, 'especially when he gets on his damned death machine. Doesn't matter how often he falls off that bike and injures himself, he always back on it a day or so later.'

A nugget of shame coiled in Felicity when Martha shook her head, the older woman not picking up on the old cover story, 'Nothing I can do would stop him. Irritated me no end.'

'Clark is the same way,' Martha handed Felicity the travel mug, 'I think it's a male thing.'

'I just wanna smack him sometimes, and not in the fun way... Oh God!' Felicity's humiliation was increased by the loud guffaws from Martha, her face turning a deep shade of red. Grabbing her purse, she started fumbling with the clasp.

'Put that away Felicity,' Martha stated simply, 'I'm not going to accept anything from you with how this day is going.'

'But...' Felicity sighed, the expression on the older woman's face leaving her with no doubt who would emerge victorious, 'Fine, you win.'

'Of course I do,' Martha smirked, 'Now get out of here and make sure he's fine.'

'Thank you,' Felicity rounded the counter and gave Martha a hug, 'And don't worry about anyone that looks into where the hack came from, I routed the link through nineteen different countries and countless systems. You're completely safe.'

'Good to know,' Martha grinned at Felicity, 'give that hunky man a kiss for me.'

'Oh I'm going to be kissing him alright...' Felicity's face exploded into a deep blush, 'Dammit.'

Martha's laughter stayed in her head until Felicity burst into the private room Oliver had been given.

* * *

'Mr Kent,' Felicity struggled to keep her voice neutral at the accusation from the reporter. It had taken a further month, but Clark Kent's doggedness had finally paid off and he'd received the one-on-one interview he'd pushed for, 'I didn't agree to this interview to listen to another series of questions that are designed to make me out to be a slut.'

'That isn't what I'm trying to do Ms Smoak,' Clark Kent replied calmly, 'But when you read your recent CV listings, it can look as though...'

'As though I've slept my way to owning a fortune 500 company?' Felicity huffed, 'i take it you've not looked into my time at MIT or the number of patents Queen Consolidated, Palmer Technologies and Queen Industries I've personally created. I have not slept my way to this job and I know you were raised better than to suggest that to me.'

'I did read up on your MIT degrees and I've uncovered numerous patents,' Clark pushed, 'But you have steadfastly refused to address the allegations and, in my opinion, you're never going to get past them unless you give a response.'

'Then listen very carefully, for I will say this only once,' Felicity winced at the accent she automatically used on the line from one of boxsets she owned, 'I became Oliver Queen's executive assistant to help my friend through a difficult transition into his new job... As for Ray Palmer, we decided that we were better off as friends after a short relationship that began after I started working alongside him. That is all I am ever going to say in answer to any questions regarding Ray and my husband... Oh shit.'

'Husband?' Clark's eyebrows nearly reached his hairline, 'As in Oliver Queen? You're married to Oliver Queen?'

'That is completely off the record and you will not include that nugget of information in the article you're working on,' Felicity glared and pointed at Clark, 'My personal life is my personal life and I will do everything in my power to keep it personal and not used for tabloid fodder.'

'You must understand that...' Clark frowned as Felicity pulled her cellphone from her pocket and started calling someone, 'Who are you calling?'

Felicity held her finger up as a voice eminated from the device, 'Felicity! Such a pleasure to hear from you again. How did the interview go with Clark?'

'I'm afraid I'm going to have to fly out and collect that tray of muffins Martha,' Felicity's face split in a beaming grin at the expression on Clark's face.

'Dammit Clark!' Martha grumbled, 'I thought I raised you better than that.'

'You know my mother?' Clark gawped, 'How do you know my mother?'

'Oliver was one of the hostages in the Smallville bank siege six months ago,' Felicity shuddered at the memory, 'I met your mother while waiting for news on Oliver and we've been chatting regularly since then.'

'Son,' Martha's voice was firm, her tone absolute, 'I don't care if I have to fly to Metropolis and kick Perry's butt, the fact that Felicity and Oliver are married will not be in your editorial... And you will make sure that you end the horrific slurs around how Felicity came to be where she is.'

'Do I make myself clear?' Martha prompted when Clark failed to respond quick enough.

'Yes Mom,' Clark sighed, shaking his head in defeat.

'Good, now be nice to my friend and I'll see you the next time you fly by. Love you,' Martha ended the call before an embarrassed Clark could reply.

'Moms are designed to be embarrassing,' Felicity smirked, 'Now... What questions do you have for me?'

* * *

"Bruce was right," Oliver thought, "finding a high perch and just soaking in the city is rather soothing."

Sat cross legged high above Star City, Oliver silently watched the thriving city bustle below him. Coming home to the newly named city had been a risk, the fear that it would rip his marriage to Felicity apart had been unfounded. If anything, their bond was stronger than before and it showed through his actions as The Green Arrow.

A fluttering of fabric told Oliver of his companion before the floating man spoke.

'And I thought Lois was a handful,' Kal-El, also known as Clark Kent, hovered nearby, 'Did you know she knows my mother?'

'I did,' Oliver lowered his hood and frowned, 'You didn't?'

'Obviously,' Clark muttered, 'Perry liked my column, it should be in tomorrow's edition of the Planet. Apparently even the great Perry White doesn't want to cross my mother either.'

'Next time we have to face an alien invasion,' Oliver smirked, 'I think we should send Martha in first.'

Clark laughed, 'She'll either have their leader over her knee for a spanking or sobbing it's eyes out on her shoulder inside five minutes.'

The laughter between the normally serious men would have been strange for anyone to witness, but being high up over the city meant that their levity was hidden.

'I know you're having another of your Zen moments honey,' Felicity's voice spoke softly in Oliver's ear. Activating his side of the link, Oliver was instantly alert.

'The flying guy from Metropolis is in Star City,' loud clacking accompanied Felicity's voice, Oliver imagining her fingers flying over her keyboard as she squinted adorably at the nearest screen, 'I'm having a Wayne Tech bird to get an overview of the city, but...'

'Hey Kal,' Oliver chuckled at the heavy gasp from his wife, 'I'm not seeing any alien invasions, so why did you fly out here?'

'He's there?' Felicity whispered.

'Diana told the pizza in Star City rivalled Chicago,' Clark shrugged, 'Thought I'd find out how true that is.'

A large explosion near to the docks lit up the city, a column of fire lancing up into the night sky.

'Oh shit,' alarms blared in the background, 'Oliver... That's the munitions depot.'

'Looks like we could use you tonight,' Oliver stood up, nooking a wire arrow, 'Race ya?'

Clark smirked, then vanished in a blur. Oliver rolled his eyes and growled, firing off the arrow he hooked his bow over it and muttered under his breath, 'Show off...'

'It's not an attack,' Felicity sounded calm despite the two more rumbling bangs reaching Oliver's ears, 'Reports of a forklift accident that set something off... Be careful Oliver.'

'It's me, I'm always careful,' Oliver ignored the snort that followed his quip. Launching himself off the ledge, he took a moment to revel in the rush that he felt when racing across the city.

The next day's headlines were full of images showing Team Arrow working alongside Superman to prevent another disaster.


End file.
